Title-less

1 Mar

I have recently discovered a need in my life to become a global citizen. To consider the world; and that means every country and every person, their perspectives and their hearts. So much is happening these days. Libya, Egypt, Yemen, uprisings within the people, the want to overthrow government. Earthquakes, tsunamis, everything happens to the places that can’t take it. Their infrastructures can’t take it. El Salvador, Bolivia, the absence of water, nothing comes easily in these countries. Nothing. How can I reconcile that with what I’ve always known?
I’ve never known need, or want. I’ve had privileged and structure, loving parents, sisters; family. How did this come to be? How come I could have this, why is it that I take for granted the fact that the water is hot every morning when I take a shower and Bolivians don’t have enough to wash their hands for more than a second? Its unbalanced and unfair, and I am challenged by it. Simply because it shouldn’t be this way, I should not have more opportunities than the next person, because of my skin color, because of my nationality, because of my heritage. It shouldn’t be that way.

But it is. So what can I do?

There is a deafening silence in my heart as to what in the world I will do with my life. What will I do? I shouldn’t have these advantages, in fact I don’t want them anymore. I want to lose my life in this world to gain it for Christ. Is that presumptuous? Am I annoying when I write that? Cause its true. I want desperately to be the minority, to be learning from those I only ever see pictures of or hear about in power points. I want to forsake comfort. I want to live without it (comfort) and be challenged to survive on less than what I’ve known.
Can I do it? I hope so, but its not supposed to be.

What’s worse?
There is poverty here, there is brokenness here in the land of “The Have”. WHAT? How is this possible? People in countries such as El Salvador strive to come to this place, but then they come here to a place that is painted as golden and where you would think you would want to be. Here there is no such thing as intentionality, as being holistic, here there is selfishness, here there is money and it has corrupted our hearts. Here people don’t care, people are individuals, they stand alone, and guarded. Here, despite the wealth, people go hungry every night, or they sleep on the streets. That shouldn’t be, not here.

But then I should never have known these privileges, I don’t deserve them. Alone I am powerless, alone I can’t do much, but with people working together much can be accomplished and much can be gained. So I’m going to search for that and in the mean time, I’m going to pray with a fervor that I hope never leaves my heart and soul.

So much to do, and only one life time to do it all in. But its easy to forget that the world doesn’t rest on my shoulders. Its easy to think that “I am the change the world has been waiting for.” That thought comes from arrogance and pride. Throughout this I must remain humble; I am a small wave tossed in the ocean, a breath, a split second, and still my Father in heaven loves me with grace and mercy, and still I’m given a chance to make whatever difference I can.

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