Counted

2 Mar

It is so amazing to live in Canada. Such a complete and whole blessing. Let me tell you that I take it for granted that I was born there and not in another country where abundance is difficult to find. They say “You don’t know what you have until its gone.”
I really wish I knew who “they” were because “they” say some pretty thought provoking stuff right? I mean its true, you don’t know what you’ve got until its taken from you and then you’re left to feel the consequences, whatever those might be.
On that note, today I had a million and one thoughts running through my head, and I want to share them with you. Every last one, so get ready, we’re going to be here for a long time…
Just kidding! Of course we will not be going through each thought, I think that I’ll just expand on two that have stuck with me the entire day.

Firstly I was contemplating about my older sister, who has diabetes and is quite sick. She is in and out of the hospital and although at times her spirit gets down, for the most part she remains joyful. Then I thought about my mom, who cares so lovingly and diligently for her, and although at times it seems they’re at complete opposite ends of the spectrum, they both work together. I considered my father, who is so brilliant, I admire him so much.

And then I thought about the Canadian health care system. I think I could feel the floor fall out from under my feet when a question…popped up in my train of thoughts. Where in the world would my family be without our country’s health care? What would happen to my sister if we were living in another country in which health care is under-rated, unconsidered, or where they don’t even have anything?
I began to have a hard time breathing when I thought of that, because I know the answer to those questions. And I know that I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, I could only pray and hope for God’s grace and mercy to work in the situation.
From that thought stemmed another thought. I wish that I had not been born into such privilege, then I would be grateful for blessings. Sad huh? I know, I should be thankful regardless of where I was born. It shouldn’t matter. Its sad that I should wish to be born into poverty in order to experience joy. Its also sad that those who are born into poverty are wishing that they in turn would have been born here, where I am; then they would have the opportunities, that I have. They would have the opportunities to go to school, to simply watch a TV show, or walk down the isles of a grocery store where choices are so plentiful. And yet here I am, stressing over my choices, complaining that I have too many options.
Who am I? What do I think I deserve?
Perfection?

Me: as a naive freshman at Messiah College 

I am spoiled. We are spoiled, so overwhelmingly blessed, it exceeds our expectations and yet we have the nerve to stick our noses in the air and say that its not good enough. Who do we think we are? What do we want out of life so much that we can’t seem to find it out of everything we have here? Here we are accounted for, our voices are heard, our lives are valued. My sister has health care, without it…I don’t even want to think about what would happen to her.

Other countries are not so fortunate, other families are not accounted for, their voices are not heard, their lives are not valued. Someone’s sister does not have health care. How are they living? How are they counting their blessings?
Another challenge to myself; how am I going to take my blessings and make them count? How am I going to take what I’ve been giving and know I’ve been blessed and use it? How am I going to use my privilege not just for me, but for others? 
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