Aside

Lights Out

20 Dec

The light in my room is doing this odd disco thing. The “on” for a few seconds and then “off” for a few seconds. It even has its own buzzing sound to go with it. Thank God for windows, without them, I would be sitting in the dark. Well actually I still am, but having the window here gives me a little comfort.

On a completely different note and train of thought, spending Christmas away from home is not as horrible as I thought it would be. Of course I miss my family, of course I miss the Christmas parties and songs and my friends. I would be foolish not to! But I’m here and I’m trying my hardest to be “present”. There are so many ways to distance yourself from life, become immune to emotion.

I sometimes find that I separate myself from the “here and now” simply by thinking about what comes next. What I’ll do in the next stepping stone of my life. And then without even realizing it, my life has become this routine and I’ve become this human machine. I simply go somewhere without even looking around at what I’m living in. No time to observe, or to take stalk of what it might mean.
If I want to live a life less ordinary, then I need to realize that moments are fleeting, days pass and weeks become a blur. Years can run their course and some won’t even realize how much the world has changed. If I want to live a life less ordinary, I need to stop and consider…anything around me or metaphorically the lights could just quit and instead of looking at a world of color, everything would be black.

Okay that’s it for the cliche realization of the week. I promise.

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One Response to “Lights Out”

  1. Sarah Baranik December 20, 2011 at 1:10 am #

    Tricia, thank you for always being thoughtful, meaning that you are thinking and making me think.

    I would love to share a brownie in the airport with you…

    Or delight in buying mangoes for next to nothing.

    Or laugh in the dark on the bunk above you with sarita…

    I miss you.

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