Making an Exit

31 May

When I first came to Beijing, China…well I’ll be honest, I cried myself to sleep for almost a week. I was looking up flights to go home almost instantly. I remember thinking to myself, I’m going to try and make it until Christmas.  My motto was simply to make it through the day so that I could get to sleep and dream about home. Yea.

Smooth transition huh? Nah, that was not how I pictured it would be.

That was then though and this is now. Now I’ve been living in Beijing for about 10 months or so. To be honest the dates are a little fuzzy. BUT my point is I’m living here, I call this my home now. When I think about comfort and a nice bed I think about my bed in my nice square room with red and gold curtains and the shades with the horses painted on them. I remember at first thinking, “What an odd combination!” I never thought that I would come to look forward to seeing them as I walked into my room.

My walls that were once bare, are covered with drawings from my kids, and photos of friends and family from home. There are maps of countries I want to visit. Like the Philippines and Thailand and India. There are cards from my family taped to the wall, my huge Canadian flag from Anne draped down the ceiling and countless quotes of encouragements and Bible verses to help me through the weeks. They used to be white for the longest time, but now they are covered.

http://www.echinacities.com/expat-corner/leaving-china-and-the-challenges-of-returning-home_2.html

The time has flown. I cannot believe that there are two months left for me here and then one month for me to travel until I make the voyage home. Its unreal. Now I have anxiety attacks about leaving here, thinking about what I’ll do at home, how I’ll live my life. The truth is, I’ve changed, I mean everybody does. But I’ve gotten used to thinking for myself and living this way in a foreign city. I speak a minimal amount of Chinese, but I understand what people are talking about now when I hear their conversations. I’ve made friends and have begun to call them family. 

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Its just weird to think I’ll be leaving it all soon. I’m surprised. I never thought I would have these conflicting feelings. It was always set in my mind that as soon as I could be done I would be on the first flight out of here. Now I just don’t know how to leave.

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One Response to “Making an Exit”

  1. Adrienne Monroy June 2, 2012 at 12:20 pm #

    Hi Tricia,
    Just wanted to say hi and that I am so happy that you’re enjoying China! I miss you lots! Love, Nelly

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