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Men from Back Then

6 Oct

First off, how about my title? Great isn’t? A real zinger. It even rhymes.

Moving Along

Stemming simply from watching the Presidential Debate two nights ago,  I began to think about my guy. I hadn’t given him much thought at all lately. Perhaps it’s time I paid him a little attention. Okay let’s be superficial. Or how about you read my superficial post. Sound good? Wonderful because, I really want to just reminisce about men from the past.


Don’t you wish men still held doors open, or pulled out our chairs at the table? You might say “No, that would be too awkward.” That is simply because you’ve grown accustomed to the opposite of a gentleman. You’re not used to chivalry and so when it’s offered to you…you automatically decline. I know I would too. But as I said, we’re not used to chivalrous fellows.

I know some women will say, “I can do things for myself. Who needs a man to hold open a door?” No one is forcing you to give up your job, bank account, or independence. I’m not saying to give up on the feminist parade. No. I am merely suggesting that when courtesies and manners are shown, we stop to appreciate them. After all wouldn’t it strengthen women to allow ourselves to enjoy these things. It takes a strong person to be humble.

Can of Worms

It’s easy to say we don’t need a gentlemen, because everyone else is shouting it at the top of their lungs. It’s difficult to say we need them. It hurts our pride. Who ever wanted to admit they needed someone? Nobody. A stronger, more confident woman would accept chivalry  because she knows she is independent without having to announce it.

Picking up what I’m laying down? Basically I’m saying the gentleman has disappeared and wouldn’t it be nice if they returned? But also if a man does offer his arm, wouldn’t be nice to accept it without having to constantly assert our independence.

Done. Can of worms closed. Now…

Whom Can’t I resist?

I’ll give it to you straight.

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A bit of a rebellious, an outside the box type. A little like James Dean.

Dapper, chivalrous; in other words a gentleman. For example: Cary Grant.

Agile and quirky, like graceful Gene Kelly.

Witty, intelligent, a petit sarcastic. Maybe he isn’t the most attractive of men, but William Powell wins with his clever speak and fearless composure.

With a smile and blue eyes, with a talking lilt and confidence like our Paul Newman.

Tall, funny, gracious, happy. A joker. A lot like Jimmy Stewart.

Now let’s combine these factors together, to create one great chivalrous, witty and handsome gentleman. Think for a moment and consider have you seen such a fellow strolling the streets of your life? Probably not. He’s been extinct for so many years. Chivalry is for dinosaurs and manners have become fossilized.

All of this to say it’s amazing what the Presidential Debate can bring to light. Many now consider where to cast their vote. Some have changed opinions, some have remained steadfast. I?


I have discovered the type of fellow who has long since disappeared. I have rediscovered the gentleman. And ladies, (all of you who are reading) I think it’s time you rediscovered him too.


The Simple Things…

22 Jul

The Simple Things...

There were some phony words that I wanted to write about this photograph taken from the movie Amelie. But then I have been reading The Catcher in the Rye. The main character is quite against people who are phony.

In regards of that, I’ve decided that perhaps it would be best to remain silent. Not tell you what to think while observing this photo, but allow you to think for yourself and come to a conclusion, as to what it could mean for you.

The viewer.

A First for Everything: dAtInG

27 Apr

Sometimes I get tired thinking about Beijing. So I’ve decided to do a little series on my dating life; or lack there of. I’ve decided this stuff is funny, albeit personal and a tad bit superficial, but it is good stuff to share.

A first date is rather intimidating especially if you’ve never been on a date in your life. This was indeed the case for me. I’ve since decided that I don’t particularly like dates all together. There is far too much pressure and expectation. Whats worse is that people tell you to relax!

This is not me, that is not him. But the photo is an excellent depiction of the pain the two of us suffered through.

Like that would actually happen.

Let me tell you a little embarrassing story. There was this fellow in my third-year of college, he still lives in fact. I thought he was awesome, handsome, funny, talented and smart. He still is awesome and all those other things, he’s just not the guy for me you know?

I gave him a call after the encouragement of my older sister. When he answered, I stammered just a little, okay I stammered quite a lot. But finally I quacked out: “Would you like to hang out?”
“Sure!” he said.
“Oh great!” I shouted a little too loudly.

But even though he had said “yes” and I had asked…how on earth would we actually get together. He didn’t make any suggestions. That should have been a sign to me that this was a bad idea.
Scratch that; I had to ask=sign number one.
I suggested we each drive to the theater and meet up there. His reply: his sister needed the car and his mom and dad were going out. That should have been a sign.
He suggested that I drive out about an hour to his place and pick him up. What was I? His big sister? That should have been a sign.
How badly did I want to hang out with this fellow? Enough, apparently, to make a huge fool of myself. Because…
Then my mother (dear soul) suggested that she and my father go “carpet shopping” to drive me down there and pick him up at the same time. This way was better? At the time I thought so, because I agreed! This should have been a sign, sign number four: my parents were driving us.

Our conversation: silence. I’m glad we were in a mall, other wise the quiet would be unbearable. I believe even at one point we started talking about the weather! We watched the movie, about Robin Hood (which was great, but there was more chemistry on-screen then between the two of us) and then walked around in the bookshop near the theater. I remember thinking that this needed to end. Please end!
We were walking down an isle of books about humor (ironically because there was none at that moment) when he answered his phone. Let us pause and shake our heads, I just don’t think that’s polite in any situation. But wait it gets slightly better.
He agreed to hang out later on that day and after he hung up asked when I thought we would be done.
I don’t blame him either, this was a disaster.

It was a huge ordeal and I’ll be honest I felt sorry for him, because then we went to Wendy’s, the four of us. A double date with my parents to Wendy’s. Yes Wendy’s. Don’t worry I ate my meal super fast, because if we all finished quickly, the faster we could leave and this could end. But my parents ate at a normal pace.
I tried sending messages to my dad across the table through mental telepathy: “Let’s jet, hurry up!”
He took my intense looks to mean I was enjoying my meal profusely. “Eat up!” he said.

Oh man.
The poor fellow! What on earth was I thinking? That torture would be the best route to an enjoyable date? Was this even a date? I began to think: Nope.
As we dropped him off in his drive-way I waved a cute good-bye, while he lifted a flat hand and gave me a curt nod of the head.
“Well that was nice,” my mom sighed, “Remember our first date dear?”
I remember closing my eyes and hoping that maybe, just maybe it was all in my head. But in my heart I knew it wasn’t. The saddest thing is that even after all that, I still liked him despite my embarrassment.

Its one of those situations in life that you just have to laugh about after wards out of pure embarrassment.I know that first dates aren’t supposed to be easy, but they’re not supposed to be this horrible either. I think I still turn red thinking about it, whatever it was. If he ever reads this I hope he knows that I felt his pain the entire time.

Check out this website to make sure that he is definitely into you before making the same mistakes as I did:

21 Signs That He Likes You: Smitten: Sex, Love & Life:

~how to be~

31 Mar

“Live spherically, in every direction, with a child-like innocence and young energy.” These are such beautiful words, vague, unclear, cliche and totally useless unless you know how to apply them directly to your every moments. How does one apply this metaphor to their life?

Wouldn’t it just be easier to buy a great big sphere and call it your home?

Attractive display items by Bulgarian inventors at European Year of Creativity & other words a home that is a sphere.

It is not a surprise then when I say that I have absolutely no idea how to live or feel as if you’re living. Does anybody? I’ve figured that every now and then its good to contemplate how you plan to get through each day, but only contemplate. Thinking to in-depth about such a complicated issue will give you gray hairs (trust me on this one).

What people do in order to feel alive is completely up to them.
What I know is that each person does life differently (of course) and how they begin to be a person, starts with how they accept who they are and what they will do with themselves.
There is such a wide range; Some travel the world while others jump off extreme heights to feel alive.

Okay enough about that. I started writing this with the thought that at the end of it I will have a better idea of what it means to live spherically. So I’ve devised a list. Here are three points of what living as a 3D shape would mean for me:

1. Taking chances.

Stepping out of the comfort bubble. So that job offered to me in a new country, should I take it? Yes.
What else? There’s a handsome fellow I see twice a week when I walk a certain route to work…should I take the chance and introduce myself?

2. Embrace your faults.

My faults: I’m a little of a control freak, I try to hard, I say “Yes” to too many things, I care way too much about how the world sees me, I have no concept of how I’m viewed so I have a warped idea of who I am in the eyes of other people.
They are what make me human. AND I have more of course, these are just the few that sprang to mind.

3. Explore with a child-like innocence.

I guess that this would mean to look for the beauty rather than the beastly. I am taught to have faith like a child, but this world has shown me that too often a faith like this can be broken as soon as reality sets in. So…how to keep the inner-child sufficed? My guess would be to nod at the brokenness and say “Yes there it is, but I still believe that benevolence and virtue can be spotted if you dare to open your eyes a bit wider.”

There you have it. My three pointers. And I am most definitely positive I will think of a few more as soon as I hit the “publish” button.

There are many ways to live in different directions. ~TriciaMaria

Let Me Count the Ways…

11 Mar

Beijing, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

How the elderly dance every morning in the park outside my apartment. They are much more talented at dancing than I shall ever be. I hear the constant repetition “Yi, er, san, si” (1, 2, 3, 4)

In fact I love your outdoor dance classes happening all year round. Through freezing, cold, sticky, hot weather, there will always be a dance class.

How the people stare at me, call me beautiful and nod with understanding when I try speaking my broken Chinese.

How those same people take it upon themselves to become my teacher for the moment and I learn a new word.

I love how the city moves, constantly going, rushing, pushing, elbowing…maybe I don’t love this part as much as I did when I first arrived.

The smell; no not your pollution Beijing. I mean when I walk past the little vendors selling egg and sausage sandwiches or breakfast soup.

I love it when the weather is clear, on a glorious spring day, real air seeps into my lungs and I instantly feel lighter, happier.

Your food…I love it. But it is so unhealthy! Even your vegetables are covered in oil. But I eat it anyway because; its too hard to say “no”.

The internet here, it is amazing. I can download movies that were in theater a few months ago for free right in my own room!

Your cost of living is so very agreeable. I can save and still have a nice time without feeling as if I should be saving.

The opportunities here. I have a job that I enjoy, I have an internship in my field of study, a volunteer position and I am meeting someone new every day here. Its wonderful! I just have to learn discernment and careful planning. I constantly feel as if I’m juggling too many “possibilities”. I have a great fear that I’ll miss one and everything will crash from mid-air; I would be left with nothing Beijing.

Your transportation. I love how I can navigate it so easily without having to consult someone.

Your language. I can understand Chinese somewhat now and I know that means quite a lot for me, for others it might not be enough, but its good enough for me Beijing…good enough for me.

Stress. I don’t love this Beijing. I used to have two gray hairs that I found occasionally if I looked hard enough. Now I have about ten, and they’re easy to spot. And you can argue back with “genetics”. I could agree with you, but then I know that gray hairs come with either stress or time. I’ve not been here that long…that leaves one option. Its not just genetics Beijing. But this is not a list of what I don’t love, this is a list of what I do…

I’m challenging myself to think positively of you Beijing. We’re enduring some turbulence in our relationship so I’ve decided to be proactive, I want to love you.

Conclusion? There are many many many things I dislike about you my dear Beijing. But I’ll list them when I’m angry it’ll make for better writing. But there are many things I enjoy; even love about you. What we have is known as “the sweet & sour, love/hate” relationship. It isn’t craved, but it isn’t something to disdain either.

Beijing, how do I love thee?
I love thee with a love I lose,
I love thee with my breath,
Smiles, my tears and hardship of life…and if it must be
I shall but love thee better after death.